The Dusty Roads Of Incompetence
Something strange is happening. We’ve been back from the Philippines for 17 days now and we haven’t seen a drop of rain – and I mean, not a single drop. And this is late March and early April, a time of year which historically brings in England the characteristic blustery winds of the former and the sharp, soaking showers of the latter, usually with a helping of hailstones like ping pong balls and often with the winter’s last throw of the snowfall dice. But no, none of it. Not even a day of drizzle. Not a drop. The earth is dry, the garden dusty.
The cricket season has started in dry weather, with all of the first round of matches completed without interruptions by the weather, something which simply never happens. My county of Derbyshire even won their first County Championship match, a startling fact which had me checking that I hadn’t dozed off and woken up in a parallel universe.
Apart from those weather borne quirks, most things are taking the usual shape of our between-trip home stays. A pleasingly impressive quantity of delicious English ale has passed my lips, I’m in the midst of a decent fix of football (soccer), Michaela has grabbed some valuable Mum time, I’ve seen and hugged my sons and granddaughters and distributed Easter eggs in the way that Grandpas are compelled by tradition to do.
It’s almost reassuring to find that the hapless inefficiencies of our once capable homeland are alive and kicking too. Last summer, our local authority spent around £700,000 of taxpayers’ money on an exciting project to convert our seafront road into a car-free, pedestrian-only zone, an enlightened and exciting plan which promised real enhancement. Except, with the lamentably predictable hopelessness of the reality of such projects, they got it laughably wrong in the way that only local authorities can.
The sectioned-off stretch of seafront was in its completed form not the promised long stretch of pedestrianised haven, but a pathetic piece of road no more than 20 yards in length, its start and finish marked by large greenery-filled planters positioned in a way which summarily ensured that no vehicles could pass through. I mean, what use to anyone is a 20-yard length of unusable road? One by-product of this astonishingly inane creation was that a network of tight residential streets, always lined on both sides by parked cars, now became the diversion route for everything and anything heading along the seafront road – or, indeed, towards those beachside car parks operated for profit by the self same Council. As if this in itself wasn’t enough to infuriate and confuse locals and visitors alike, whichever clueless imbecile it was behind this whole ill advised scheme then came up with the idea of making those tight streets all one way traffic. Getting from one end of the seafront to the other became a significant test of geography, geometry, logistics and patience all in one go.
Get this. Such was the depth of idiocy that went into this project, that the only way the Council’s own garbage trucks could negotiate the new maze was to drive the wrong way down two of the newly instigated one way streets. You couldn’t make it up.
What you could make up though, is what we’ve now on our return from the Philippines discovered is the next phase of the plan. It’s all gone. Dismantled. No 20-yard pedestrian area, no one way streets, no planters. Yes, our esteemed Council has spent £700,000 of taxpayers’ money on implementing this daft scheme, plus I don’t know how much more on undoing their own work, leaving the town now exactly as it was three years ago before all this nonsense started. I am surely not the only Herne Bay resident wondering why I should pay my Council Tax to Canterbury City Council this year.
By the way, this is the same Council who threatened us – Michaela and me – with legal action a few years ago, sending us an extremely heavy handed “Warning Before Court Proceedings” letter, accusing us of causing a breach of the peace by allowing our dog to bark all day whilst we were out at work. We didn’t have, and have never had, a dog.
What with the seafront project debacle, parcel deliveries going astray or arriving precisely when the supplier said they wouldn’t, incorrectly priced bills for broadband and a “smart” energy meter which behaves in a way which gives a whole new definition to the word “smart”, it’s perversely reassuring to find that, in this land ever more dominated by advances in technology, ineptitude still rocks.
Yes. There may be an uncharacteristic lack of rain and the fields may be disturbingly dusty, and there may be an autocratic madman at loose across the Atlantic, but some things here in Blighty remain comfortably unchanged. Great tits have moved in to the nesting box on our wall, robins have built a home in the ivy and, judging by the manic level of activity in the hedgerow, blackbirds too have decided that our garden is the desirable residence to which all self respecting birds should aspire.
Oh and of course, the maps are out. Pins are going in to the map on the study wall. Routes and itineraries are taking shape, logistics being calibrated, tested and re-tested, ideas floated then either adopted or binned. The next adventure is taking shape. It won’t be long before we’re off again.
To where? Well, when we told my granddaughters about our next destination, they squealed in delight: “Wow, you might meet Paddington!”
18 Comments
Toonsarah
Oh dear, that fiasco in Herne Bay does sound rather horribly familiar! Our council (which to be fair I think does a better job than most) a few years ago took advantage of funding from the London Mayor’s office to create some ‘low traffic neighbourhoods’. While I agree in principle that reducing traffic in residential suburban roads is a good thing, their efforts to do so were over the top and hence created chaos and lots of very upset residents. Instead of reducing pollution by getting people out of their cars and walking/cycling, most drivers just found a way around the blocks, driving further and creating MORE pollution. One street in particular became an almost permanent traffic jam with the consequent fumes and noise. After a year of increasingly vocal protests almost all the blocks were removed, leaving just a couple in places where they did make rather more sense.
But yes, spring this year is going remarkably well weather-wise. You’ve chosen a good spell to be at home! I can imagine though that you’re itching to be off again soon 🙂 I’m really looking forward to following your adventures in South America and hearing all about them on your return. I’ve promised Michaela we’ll come down to Canterbury for our next get-together to hear all your best tales 😀
Phil & Michaela
All too familiar tales, I fear! We’re off at the beginning of May. No doubt our plans have changed a bit since we last spoke but Paddington is our starting point 😂
Monkey's Tale
At first I was going to say it sounds like you’re complaining about the lovely weather, but reading further, I see where your frustration comes from. So next trip. I’m guessing South America, perhaps Peru? We’ve been twice so ask away if you have any questions. Maggie
Phil & Michaela
Definitely! We have an outline plan but it can be tweaked, of course, as always. Here’s hoping altitude sickness doesn’t play a part…
Monkey's Tale
Don’t start in Cusco or Puno 😊
Phil & Michaela
Lima first, then we’re heading south for a while, and then eventually up to Cusco and, after a few days to acclimatise, up to you know where. Very excited by it all.
Monkey's Tale
Exciting! Will you hike? We did Inca Trail, but it’s apparently very busy now and Salkantay is supposed to be good.
Phil & Michaela
Hiking at the site, but not to the site. Unfortunately arthritis in the hip has limited my ambitions a bit in that department.
grandmisadventures
When it comes to city projects they make you want to cry or laugh at some of the crazy ideas and then the time involved with those plans….having watched Paddington multiple times now, I have a pretty good guess where you’re heading next and I am super excited about it 🙂
Phil & Michaela
Laugh and cry indeed, some of that sort of stuff is difficult to believe. Our next journey begins in early May.
Lookoom
If I may offer a word of advice, try to book to enter MP for several days, as it’s not always easy with the current system. In the past, one trick was to use several credit cards for different days. A single day is a bit short to visit in detail and the weather can be restrictive. All the best!
Phil & Michaela
Fortunately we happened to look at that a few weeks back and were surprised at how far ahead it’s booked these days – due I suppose to the strict limits on daily numbers. Anyway, we were able to book two different trails for two consecutive days at the end of May (and train tickets too) so hopefully we’re all sorted.
Travels Through My Lens
I’ve noticed over the past decades that here in the PNW where we normally get rain almost daily between November and June, that is changing, and it’s quite worrisome particularly since we get so many more wildfires. As for the mad man; that’s putting it nicely. He’s a complete egotistical lunatic and everyday I wake up anxious about everything that’s happening. These are terrible time here in the US.
Phil & Michaela
We follow developments closely, and with a growing horror and disbelief. My daughter lives in California so we keep abreast of developments as much as we are able.
Lynette d'Arty-Cross
I guess it’s your turn to be dry. We had three drought years in a row and after all the rail this winter and spring, we are in the recovery zone. Yay!
As to technology and its vaunted reputation for making everything easier, I say BS! Anything invented is only as smart as its user so the ineptitude flows merrily along, regardless of advances. It really sounds like the project in your city had DT behind it. Maybe the council was consulting with him for good ideas on how to proceed. 😉 That kind of tax money waste makes me insane. Ugh.
It will be interesting to hear about where you’re off to next. Maybe it should be Canada.😉
Phil & Michaela
Exactly, why should we pay our taxes when the people controlling budgets are so utterly clueless. I suppose it’s only incompetence and not rampant lunacy like…well you know who. Canada isn’t next, but we’ll definitely get there one day soon.
Eha Carr
An interesting post to read for more than one reason. Have never been to South America, so travelling to Peru will truly be something to look forward to – especially now knowing how you two do things 🙂 ! Local municipal matters – the story sounds ridiculous and such an annoying waste of time and money, but methinks this happens everywhere – could tell you quite some stories from here also, especially as during the last few years a lot of our municipal areas have been altered in size and geographical areas, leading to different needs and very unhappy people. Lack of rain: common hereabouts naturally – it is always drought or flood – have heard from four of you during the past few days . . . would you believe it has come up, with maps, even in our newspapers. Does make one wonder !!!
Phil & Michaela
It’s so unusual to experience no rain at this time of year – I mean, we get miserable rain all year but April is renowned for it. As for local Councils, they seem incapable these days of making logical decisions. They should be more accountable for the way they spend taxpayers’ money. Peru? Watch this space?