The Boys Of Summer: More Tales From The Red Sea
Camp Sunshine beach bar has its music on a loop – a loop which perhaps should be a little longer. It’s a good job I have my headphones, given that we can hear the music from both house and beach spot and the inoffensive MOTR run of Santana, Adele, Richard Marx etc is at a certain point rudely interrupted by Tom Jones’ “Delilah”. We feel a pang of guilt laying here soaking up the sun while poor Tom is about to be arrested for stabbing his Mrs to death.
We think we might know where we’re going wrong with the all-inclusive thing. I remember chatting in a hotel bar in Sri Lanka a few years ago to an Aussie guy – his name was Phil, as it happens – about the differences between Brits and Aussies. Or maybe between Brits and everyone else. The thrust of the conversation was that a Brit will stand back and quietly try and judge etiquette in order to be polite, while meanwhile the Aussie will step straight in, help himself, and leave the Brit wondering how come everyone else gets a better deal.
It might just be that we are doing that very thing here, and may just be the explanation behind why we’ve reached Day 5 at Camp Sunshine (not its real name) and still haven’t got to grips with it all. Without realising it, we’ve been standing back and trying not to be rude, trying to avoiding looking greedy, and taking time to see what the rules are – when in fact no-one is playing to our rule book. Oh how very British of us.
For instance, we simply wouldn’t dream of loading a plate with eight pastries, knowing we only want two, and then walking away and leaving the other six on the table. I mean, that just wouldn’t be cricket, would it.
Mind you, there are some extreme examples. See the neat little toppings on these desserts in the photos below…
Well, there’s one lady here who approaches this display with a spoon, systematically scoops off the topping from 6 or 7 puddings, takes the toppings away to eat, and leaves a trayful of topless desserts for the next customer. Can you imagine!?
Maybe we’re going to have to adjust, and simply get greedy. Maybe the “all-inclusive” mentality extends to “well, I’ve paid for it, that gives me the right to waste it”. I don’t think I can do that without hearing my late Mum’s voice chastising me from beyond the grave.
Our routine seems to have become fixed. Because we haven’t been drinking alcohol, mealtime is short and is all over and done quickly. Apart from writing this rubbish and researching the rest of this trip, there isn’t much to do after dinner and we are, preposterously, in bed by 9.30pm. This makes us wide awake with the rising sun – this coast faces due east – at just after 5am. Morning stroll, lay in the sun, listen to music (me), read a book (Michaela), back in the room by 4.30pm when we’ve had enough of baking our bodies for the day, just as Tom is asking Delilah why why why for about the fourteenth time.
All this makes us ready rather prematurely for both breakfast (7am) and dinner (7pm). So having poked fun at the reputation of Germans always wanting to be there first, it is, in fact….us. There we are, slipping quietly through the doors sometimes before the coffee machine is even switched on and taking our seats whilst the metaphorical gong is still vibrating. Oh dear.
Shall we talk about Camp Sunshine restaurant/bar staff for a while? You know what, they’re really nice, and getting better by the day, lots of smiles, lots of eager-to-help, lots of engaging with Michaela and then turning to me and telling me that I am a lucky man. Well, I already know that, but it’s very nice to be told as much. I hope, given all our other comments, that this doesn’t sound hollow, because these guys are genuinely friendly and helpful, they are doing their very best and are pretty damn good at their job. No matter what our opinion of all-inclusive is, most of these guys work hard to make their visitors happy, and fair play to them for that.
So, “local alcohol” is all-inclusive, “imported alcohol” is pay-as-you-go. In our 24 days so far, we’ve discovered three Egyptian beers: Napoli, Sakkara Gold and Stella (no relation to Artois). We now establish that in fact all three are available here at Camp Sunshine – but Napoli (horrible) counts as “local”, whereas Sakkara (alright) and Stella (perfectly good) count as “imported”, despite having “premium Egyptian lager” on the label.
So on evening number 5 we give in, fall for the ruse and pay for some Stella. And suddenly we feel like we’re on holiday with a decent beer, some decent sunshine and smiles all round. What suckers we are, falling into the very obvious trap, and feeling happy as a result. Oh well, if you can’t take it with you, then you may as well spend it on beer, even if it is a bit of a con.
Consequently we are a little later for breakfast on Friday morning and, horror of horrors, have ever so slightly changed our routine. Ahmed looks mighty relieved to see us – or, more accurately, to see Michaela. Almost like a 1970s Costa Brava waiter, nothing is too much trouble for Ahmed as far as Michaela is concerned, she no longer even has to fetch her own coffee! Naturally Michaela doesn’t play up to this, not in the slightest…
There’s a small army of Camp Sunshine gardeners who keep the lawns and borders neat and tidy. One of them – name unknown – each time he notices that we are “at home”, will pick a little posy of flower heads and present them to Michaela with a little bow and a shy smile.
There’s clearly a little theme developing here, the longer we stay, and there’s no doubt that a little bit of flirtation is a million miles better than being pestered by hawkers, hasslers and hustlers all day. Camp Sunshine has its compensations.
21 Comments
Monkey's Tale
I’m stuck on the lady who steels desert toppings and things that’s okay!!!! Some of this sounds like sketch comedy! Maggie
Phil & Michaela
Oh it’s been fun as long as you have a sense of humour! I know…how could you just steal toppings and think it’s ok!?!?
giacomoasinello
That’s so funny! It has always made me laugh when I have come across Brits complaining about the lack of queues or the fact that non-Brits try to get (more than) their share before everyone else, with anguished cries of “Excuse me!” or “There’s a queue here you know!” – said queue normally consisting of speaker himself and his wife! I remember years ago they introduced a free newspaper here. It was discontinued because people were helping themselves to 8 or 9 copies each. Why on earth would you want 8 or 9 copies of the same newspaper? To line drawers with? I guess we will never know!
Phil & Michaela
Ha that’s ridiculous! (Avoiding mentioning here that we sometimes steal free papers in winter in order to light our log fire). Hopefully you read our “Legal Aliens” post too..you just have to see the funny side…
Heyjude
You tell a good tale! But you’ve lost me with Tom Jones. The only thing close to what you are describing was a week in a Spanish hotel in the month of March which was full of British pensioners on all inclusive deals. My daughter and I were half board. But the oldies took such a shine to her that they shared their drinks with us (except she was pregnant so wasn’t drinking alcohol). Needless to say I became a little worse for wear – double Drambuie’s are a killer!
Phil & Michaela
Ha ha good one….but you mean you don’t remember the lyrics to “Delilah”? Wow!!
Heyjude
I don’t want to remember Delilah 😱
Steven and Annie Berger
Annie and I both love reading about your adventures. Your writing and pictures are just wonderful. I’m glad you’re realizing how lucky you are and beginning to enjoy the situation for what it is. I hope the person taking the toppings off wasn’t American. We have a bad enough reputation although other countries are definitely catching up and even surpassing us in some places. And I think I understand the Boys of Summer reference but for me it will always be the Brooklyn Dodgers.
Be safe,
Steve
Phil & Michaela
Thanks Steve – no, not American. As far as we can tell we’re the only English speakers here.
Phil & Michaela
Not sure I understand the Brooklyn Dodgers thing, you’re probably ahead of me there…but I do like to sneak music connections into my text!
Andrew Petcher
I am getting the impression that you are not really into ‘All Inclusive’.
On my ‘All Inclusive’ holiday in Turkey I eventually had to give in and buy proper beer from a nearby ( 3 miles away) store.
Greed is why I don’t like Sunday lunch buffets when people load their plates with far more than they can possibly eat and then just leave it. Perhaps ‘All inclusive’ and Sunday Lunch Buffets’ should be declared illegal.
Phil & Michaela
Well…we kind of knew this sort of thing wasn’t us, but we were sort of forced into it by circumstance here – plus, you can’t really have an opinion on something unless you’ve experienced it for yourself. So now we have…and it’s not us.
Alison
The buffets are all the same in Asia, with many people piling their plates so high and making sure they get their desserts way ahead of time, so you see people with seafood and a big slice of chocolate cake on the side.
The topping lady sounds outrageous, I definitely would have tried to video it!
Everything’s always better with alcohol🍾🥂🍸
Steven and Annie Berger
Assuming your Boys of Summer reference is the Don Henley song, I think the title is taken from a book title about an American baseball team that moved to a new city. For a 10 year old boy it was the saddest moment in my life.
Phil & Michaela
Ah I see…yes it was the Don Henley song, though my reference was in honour of Michaela’s outrageous flirting with the waiters here!!
Toonsarah
Hmm, it doesn’t really get any more appealing 😆 It seems the best thing here for you two is the lying in the sun part, which is something my fair skin will never let me do, so I’d be completely at a loose end! Well no, I’d be sitting reading in the shade but bored silly after a day or two of that! I’m not surprised you cracked and paid for some decent beer, we would have done the same. I hate to see people taken more at buffets than they can ever eat (and it’s so unnecessary when you can always go back for seconds), but the lady scraping the toppings off the desserts … I really have heard everything now!
Phil & Michaela
Yep, all human life is here in Camp Sunshine!
WanderingCanadians
Sounds like you’re acclimatizing to Camp Sunshine and who knew that all it would take was a proper drink! I still can’t get over that lady who picked off the toppings from some of the desserts!!
grandmisadventures
sounds like a pretty good routine to fall into there! Although I do think that the ‘all inclusive’ mindset changes some people to behave far different than they normally would.
Christie
All-inclusive is fun sometimes, although not all is inclusive for you, at least some of the toppings! I’m curious if anyone told the lady anything😆
Phil & Michaela
Nope, she just merrily went about her business..