Beneath The Surface: An Alternative Diani
“You sit here Papa”, someone said on one of our first nights in Kenya, “Mama you sit this side with the lovely view”.
It’s become a theme – for those who don’t call us by name we are universally addressed as Mama and Papa, which is apparently the normal moniker for an adult couple in Swahili English. They are genuinely surprised to learn that in our world you only use such names for your parents. If there is a single word which we hear more than “Papa”, “pole pole” or “hakuna matata” when we get into conversation here, it’s “corruption”. Mistrust is rife.
La Gusta is an excellent beach bar to the south of our base in Diani, a little bit more settled than most of the rustic bars here with its decent tables, cushions on the seats and even a wooden stage where on one night we witness a half decent soul band perform. Well, decent if you ignore the distorted sound system, anyway. They even reserve us the table with the best ocean view when we call in for a light lunch and casually say we’ll return after dark. On top of that, it’s also the place where on Wednesday lunchtime we eat the best grilled octopus in the history of the universe.
Walking past 48 hours later and expecting to be called in for a drink by the friendly staff, we find that La Gusta is…gone. We don’t mean closed down, we mean destroyed. All supporting wooden pillars have been chopped away, the roof has collapsed on to the tables, the planks from the wooden stage are being tossed around on the incoming tide. The place is a complete wreck. There is no sign of the booze which filled the well stocked bar.
Was it the strong wind, a high tide? Neither. We are told by one of our village friends – we won’t name him – that it is far more likely that somebody somewhere didn’t pay a bill, or didn’t pay extortion money, the result being a visit during the night by a gang armed with axes and chainsaws. A wooden construction like La Gusta can be destroyed in minutes regardless of how sophisticated it is.
“So someone pays a gang to just go in and destroy?”, we ask.
“Yes”, he says, “and the gang has a name. They are called the police. They most likely took all the alcohol too”.
“………..…”
More than a little shocked, our minds go back to the taxi ride from Mombasa to Diani. As we approached the ferry point, our driver had some advice.
“Listen my friends”, he said, “be careful of the police. They are not friendly. When they see white people, they see money. If they stop us, don’t tell them this is a taxi. Tell them I am your friend or your host and I fetched you from the airport. Otherwise you will have to open your wallet and they will take what they want”.
As it happens, we didn’t get stopped.
“OK we can relax now”, he said as we departed the suburbs.
“Is it the same in England, if you get stopped by the police you have to hand over your money?”
He seems genuinely surprised by our answer and intimates that maybe we don’t know how lucky we are.
One of our friends in a bar – we won’t name him – tells us a lot about the Kenya beneath the surface which maybe most visitors don’t see, and if you’ve read, and believe, that lack of integration of the different tribes is history, then think again. He hails from the west where, he says, most people work hard farming the land, toil long hours for meagre reward, and eat a starch-heavy diet to fuel their labours. He found it hard to settle here on the coast where, in his opinion, the people from the different tribes are lightweight and lazy and think that “driving around in a tuk-tuk and sleeping half the day” is hard work. It took him ages to adapt to the gentler diet of such lightweights.
As he talks, two things fall into place.
“Have you noticed how many young black man like to be with the older white ladies, and how many young black girls here go with old white men?”
We had, as it happens.
“Just for money, for easy life. Those people are all from the lazy tribes. Where I come from they would get no respect. Money for doing nothing does not make good person”.
And the second thing to fall into place? Those street demonstrations aka riots we saw back in Nairobi. The President is, of course, from a particular tribe….and every one of his appointees in any powerful and/or money making position, is from the same tribe. With at least eleven different tribes represented in Kenyan society, it’s perhaps no wonder that there is pent up opposition.
The man in the bar is not the only one to speak of the lingering differences in tribal culture. We learn that members of certain tribes are forbidden to marry someone from a rival tribe, that it is difficult to land a decent job if the employers are from a different tribe, and, intriguingly, that everybody here can identify the tribe of any other person even at first sight.
It’s worth pointing out that we’ve effectively received all of these stories second hand, whereas our first hand experience of the people of Kenya has been more than great: unfailingly welcoming, chatty, and above all full of smiles and always ready to engage. Making strong eye contact is an important element of conversation and one which has made us feel both welcome and settled here.
So we’ll end this post on a happy note. One of our regular calls here has been The Funky Monkey Bar, which employs one of the many people of Diani whom we feel we have befriended – a young lad named Baraka who beams each time we walk in through the door of the bar. When he learns that we will soon be moving on, he asks us if we will meet him outside of work when he finishes his Saturday afternoon shift.
The reason for this, it turns out, is that he has bought us gifts, hoping that they will always remind us of Diani, and of a smiley little guy named Baraka. Mine is a carved wooden lion inscribed with my name, Michaela’s is a beautifully decorated and colourful sarong.
Gifts from Baraka
We’re probably as speechless when he presents us with these gifts as we were when the story of La Gusta unfolded. But for an infinitely happier reason.
CLOSING NOTE: It’s time to clear the apartment, check all the cupboards and drawers, load up the backpacks and get on the move. Diani has been a lovely chill time, kind of a mini holiday in a long spell of adventure, but we’re ready to move on now and see more of what Africa has in store. Eleven days in one place is a very long time for us and our feet are itching. Our next stop is a 48-hour stay in Mombasa before we head to a new country about which we knew very little before we started our research for this trip. Mombasa, and then…..Malawi…
34 Comments
Helen Devries
As a visitor, a foreigner, you are ‘excused boots’ in the tribal rivalry stakes…..imagine having to live all your life under that burden.
Phil & Michaela
Indeed. It’s a sub culture we don’t even have to think about.
Lynette d'Arty-Cross
I experienced much of what you are reporting when I visited Africa. It’s sad, disheartening, poignant and wonderful. I don’t think I had ever experienced before such a mixed set of emotions while travelling. I’m sure you’ve done your homework about Malawi but here’s a government website link with (perhaps) further info about it. https://travel.gc.ca/destinations/malawi Cheers and stay safe.
Phil & Michaela
Yes I know exactly what you mean about those clashes of emotions. Thank you for the link – will check it out.
Monkey's Tale
What beautiful gifts! Our guide on Mt Kenya told us similar information about the president and the benefit if you’re in the same tribe, which he was. They also called me mama, but I don’t remember them calling Richard papa.
Phil & Michaela
I’m getting the papa thing absolutely everywhere! It’s certainly an eye opener, speaking to people here about the different way of life.
Lookoom
It must be difficult to leave once you’ve begun to enter people’s lives, and for them to see visitors passing by while they’re still there.
Phil & Michaela
And yet one of the real joys of travel. Striking up a brief friendship with somebody from a different world, learning about their culture and their life, letting it change your perception of the world just a little bit each time.
Annie Berger
Wow – a little dumbstruck after reading your post about your experiences in Diani and, more generally, in Kenya itself. The geography, the sights, the animals – all were topnotch but the political unrest and tribal strife would be very unnerving to me, Phil. We were there for a such a short time several years ago that we were largely ignorant of what went on, sad to say. I know you had tremendous experiences with Stanley and other Kenyans you met and hope that will be your primary takeaway. Wishing you both good luck and safe travels in the days ahead.
Phil & Michaela
All part of getting under the skin of a new country, trying to understand different cultures. But on a personal note, every single person we have met and got to know has been so friendly, so communicative.
WanderingCanadians
Oh gosh, it’s wild to hear what happened to La Gusta and that it was the police that destroyed it. It’s such a different life there and makes me appreciate a lot of things I take for granted. It certainly sounds like there are some wonderful people there though. Those gifts are sweet.
Phil & Michaela
Yep, despite what we’ve learned, Kenyan people have been universally lovely on a personal level
Phil & Michaela
It’s been a great stay, great people, interesting stories
Travels Through My Lens
Being called mama and papa seems very charming. What a shock about the destruction of the bar; the “police” sound just awful. Beautiful photos though.
Phil & Michaela
Great chill place, great people. We really enjoyed our time there despite the undercurrents we’ve described
Toonsarah
I’d heard tales of corruption in Kenya but not until now heard so much from anyone who’d seen it in action. The destruction of that bar must have been a big shock when you’d had such a pleasant time there only days before. We saw that ‘older white man, young black girl’ combination quite a bit in bars in Gambia (the reverse however rather less so) and I assumed then that money had a lot to do with it. On the other hand, what a wonderful gesture from your young friend from the bar 😀
Phil & Michaela
We of course couldn’t understand what could have happened at first, so the “truth”, if that’s what it was, was shocking. So interesting to meet people and learn about these different ways of life though, surely a huge part of why we travel.
Toonsarah
Absolutely – and to hear and see these things first hand is so much better than a second-hand media account.
grandmisadventures
There is something really sweet in being called papa and mama by everyone. And your young friend bringing such nice gifts- what a treasure. It was interesting/disheartening though to read about the politics there and the stark lines between tribes and the police being the gang to watch out for. That must have been a huge shock to see the bar destroyed just after seeing it up and running.
Phil & Michaela
It was, Meg….just goes to show how diverse the different cultures of the world are.
Heyjude
Africa is a very different country [sic] In South Africa you will probably be called Aunty and Uncle. And you can often be stopped by traffic police demanding on the spot fines! It’s a sad state of affairs that there is still so much conflict between different tribes. I hope all goes well in Malawi, a country I have not visited but heard a lot about.
Phil & Michaela
It’s an interesting mix really Jude….every person we’ve met has been amiable and friendly, and really engaging, yet several difficult undercurrents are clearly at play constantly.
Heyjude
Yes, it’s why you really do need your wits about you.
Latitude Adjustment: A Tale of Two Wanderers
What a cool experience. Too bad about the bar!
Cherryl
What interesting insights you got there, on the culture and life in Kenya, I guess the police destroying the house is the equivalent of bailiffs coming to repossess, pretty harsh. Diani beach looks like a vast sight for sore eyes, I’d love to visit Kenya one day. Thanks for sharing✨
Phil & Michaela
Definitely some very different elements to the culture here.
Cherryl
Interesting similarity – in Greece it seemed customary for locals to refer to mothers as ‘Mama’ too.
Looking forward to hearing more about your adventures on the African continent, by the way 🤗
Phil & Michaela
Thank you Cherryl
wetanddustyroads
It is sad to see a place (like La Gusta with that wonderful view of the ocean) destroyed by … their own people (or even the police who are supposed to protect its citizens). Well, the word “corruption” isn’t an unfamiliar term here in SA either – unfortunately. We look forward to your Malawi adventures (and hope this includes Lake Malawi – or as we learned in the geography class at school: Lake Nyasa)!
Phil & Michaela
The lake is definitely on our itinerary, whatever its name is!
Alison
So interesting to read Phil, 11 days is a long time for you, it would be for us too. Anthony gets Papa all over Asia too. Still good people in the midst of all that corruption.
Phil & Michaela
Diani was a real chill spot in spite of its undercurrents
leightontravels
What fabulous insight into the culture you got from your bar chat. The gifts from Baraka are so kind, what an amazing touch and mementos to treasure forever. Nice article Papa.
Phil & Michaela
Why thank you kind Sir! In truth it wasn’t a “man in a bar”, it was people we’d met, but things are so tense in Kenya that we thought we better not give clues as to their identity. Discretion is the….well, you know.